Wedding Jokes

We have included a few absolutely awful wedding jokes, that i just know you will love, we have collected these from various sources, but please feel free to blog us more so that we can add them to our collection.

Wedding Jokes

Q: Why does a Bride wear white ?
A: So she can match the Kitchen appliances

Q: Why do woman have such small feet?
A: So they can stand closer to the stove

Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence….(a life sentence!).

Marriage is a 3-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

A woman was telling her friend , “It was I who made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
The woman replied, ” A multi-millionaire”.

There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation – “If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels.”  

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.   
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.   
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. 
Resuming the journey, Sally tried – in vain – to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.  The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. 
“What in bag?” asked the old woman. 
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said:  “It’s a bottle of wine.  I got it for my husband.”   
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.  Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:   
“Good trade . . .”

Craze one liners

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburator’. I said, ‘Where’s the car?’ She said, ‘In the lake’.

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

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